No Place Like Home
by TearsOfPaper
Summary: Family means everything, and Peter Parker and the Avengers are certainly a family, albeit a bit odd. My collection of Avengers One-Shots, specifically domestic situations. Requests/prompts allowed but I reserve the right to deny any I so choose. I do not own Marvel or any of their characters, etc.
1. Forgotten Field Trip

The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, and Peter couldn't get out fast enough – which was impressive for him. It was Friday, and Tony had dubbed Fridays 'family dinner' days. Not only that, but Aunt May had given Peter permission to stay at the tower on weekends, and Tony had invited Shuri and T'challa over from Wakanda. Peter couldn't wait to have lab time with Tony, Bruce, _and_ Shuri. The two teens had been texting for a week about their plans. Shuri had an idea on how to combine the vibranium kinetic energy technology she had developed for T'challa's latest Black Panther suit with Peter's web. Peter had seen how T'challa absorbed every blow rained upon him only to turn it into a weapon, and he couldn't wait to have the same power.

Waving goodbye to Ned, Peter dashed down the street towards the apartment where he and May lived. He threw his school bag by his desk and rooted under his bed for the bags he had packed for the weekend at the tower. Ned constantly teased Peter about visiting his dad on the weekend while staying the week with his mom-figure. Peter always rolled his eyes. Mr. Stark wasn't his dad, just his mentor. Such protests never made a difference in Ned's teasing, though. Peter chuckled under his breath as he remembered Ned's teasing that day, but it didn't matter. Happy was going to pick him up soon, and he couldn't wait.

The apartment elevator was slow as molasses, and Peter could have sworn it took fifteen minutes to take him from his floor to the ground, though in reality it wasn't even one. Once he reached the ground floor, he tossed his bags behind the grungy chairs in the lobby and dashed out the door to look for Happy. He wasn't there. Sighing, Peter looked around for something to do. A sports car whizzed around the corner to Peter's delight. He skipped a step or two before speeding up to a run beside the car as it sped its way through the neighborhood streets. Sirens behind them caught both Peter and the driver off guard. When they looked back, the driver sighed and pulled over before catching a glimpse of Peter bolting off in a dead sprint. He couldn't be caught out of the suit going this fast.

Skidding to a stop in front of his apartment building ten minutes after he left, Peter looked around for Happy once again. A glance at his watch told him that it had only been twenty-seven minutes since school had let out. That meant another eighteen minutes to burn before Happy showed up. Peter groaned. Shuri was going to be at Avengers Tower before he was at this rate, and he had wanted to prep the labs for her arrival first.

Slumping to the ground, Peter looked up at the sky. It would be faster to put on his suit and swing himself and his bags to the tower. He frowned. Mr. Stark would have his head if he did that, and a mad Mr. Stark was terrifying. Natasha – Aunt Nat, he corrected himself, was probably the only person who would be more terrifying than Mr. Stark when mad. Nonetheless, the thought of swinging over was tempting. Just as the pros of going as Spiderman started to outweigh the cons, Happy pulled up.

"Finally!"

Peter scrambled to his feet and into the apartment building. He grabbed his bags and ran back out. Happy had the trunk open for Peter to toss his luggage in, then they were off. Peter looked out the window with a grin on his face. They were on their way. He would prep the labs before dinner so Shuri could be surprised – which reminded him.

"Hey, Happy."

"I've already told you, kid, call me Uncle Happy."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you all say stuff like that, but I don't understand why."

"Your friend does." Happy grinned as he recalled overhearing Ned's teasing the other week.

Peter groaned. "Whatever. What I was going to ask was who is cooking dinner tonight?"

"If you don't have the rotation memorized by now, I'm not going to tell you."

"No, I have it memorized. It's just Mr. Stark's turn, but he wouldn't order take out when Shuri and T'challa are coming." He glanced at the roof of the car before whispering, "and you know how his cooking is."

Happy nodded. "He traded weeks, but he wanted it to be a surprise."

Peter hummed in dissatisfaction but sat back in his seat. He hoped it wasn't Bruce. Bruce's cooking was almost as bad as Mr. Stark's. Clint's cooking was pretty good, but that was probably because he had either Laura or Natasha cook for him. Peter blinked. Uncle Clint. Aunt Laura. Aunt Nat. Why was it so hard for him to remember?

His phone vibrated as they pulled up to Avengers Tower. Pulling up the text message string, Peter wandered into the building, forgetting his luggage.

_Hey kid_

_Visitors here 30 minutes before dinner_

_BE READY_

_DON'T FORGET_

_Have fun in lab_

_DON'T BLOW ANYTHING UP_

_Text if you need me_

_-TS_

Peter grinned and rolled his eyes.

_Got it Mr. Stark_

_You don't have to sign your texts_

_I can see who you are_

_And FRIDAY saw that eye roll_

_-TS_

Peter rolled his eyes again and ran to the private labs without stopping by the penthouse, eager to prepare for the coming day. The sight that met his eyes was horrifying. Why did he have to be such a slob? Half-finished projects littered his area, and the mess was only accentuated by DUM-E's attempts to clean. He groaned and got to work. It would be a miracle if he was done in time. Another buzz from his pocket got his attention.

_You left Happy to carry your bags_

_Fix it_

_-TS_

Peter was never going to get the lab clean in time. Nevertheless, he abandoned his projects once again to help Hap-Uncle Happy with the bags.

"What did you pack?" Happy asked when Peter skidded to a halt in front of the car.

"Same stuff as usual."

Happy shrugged. "Okay, I guess I usually don't take your bags in then."

"Why do you say that?"

"It weighs as much as a baby elephant."

Peter picked up his two bags and hefted them thoughtfully. "I don't feel it."

Happy sighed as Peter jogged back inside, luggage on his shoulder. That kid was something else.

After dropping his bags inside the penthouse door, getting yelled at by Ms. – no – Pepper, and taking them all the way to his room, Peter finally was free to return to the lab. He gathered up all his tools and put them away where they were supposed to go, swept up the useless scraps for the scrap bin, mopped the grease and scorch stains off the floor, and turned to his project collection. He needed some way to organize them. The Spiderman suits were easy – organize by Mark number and stick into their respective slots. The web fluid solutions were similarly arrayed. The hard part were the miscellaneous projects, such as the prototype for Cap's new shield, Ned's latest Lego set, and Peter's most recent attempt at a present for MJ. Shrugging, Peter decided to put those in the extra slots in the corner.

Peter was just stepping back to admire his newly organized workspace when his phone buzzed again.

_I said 30 minutes BEFORE dinner_

_That was 10 minutes ago_

_Get up here_

_-TS_

Peter groaned. He was in for it now. Slowly, he put one foot in front of the other and trudged to the elevator. FRIDAY was eerily silent as he rode up to the penthouse. The numbers above the door ticked upwards steadily as if counting Peter's anxiety level instead of the floors he was passing.

"FRIDAY?"

"Yes, Peter?"

"Am I the last one they are waiting on?"

The AI's silence spoke volumes. Peter sighed. He was really in for it now. Mr. Stark was rather emphatic on his rules being obeyed and being obeyed promptly. However, Mr. Stark never punished Peter, he just got disappointed. That, in Peter's opinion, was a million times worse. The way Mr. Stark would slowly close his eyes and take in a deep breath before sighing and furrowing his brow. Peter could never bring himself to look Mr. Stark in the eyes after the sigh. The look of utter disappointment was enough to break the teen should he look directly into his mentor's gaze.

The elevator doors opened silently, and Peter stepped out, head down. The five steps to the door were like a prisoner walking into a courtroom knowing he would be condemned. His hand hovered over the knob, dreading its touch. Before he could muster the courage to enter, the door opened. Peter looked up, startled, to see Mr. Stark standing in front of him. The man smiled to relieve the teen's fear.

"Hey Underoos. Glad you made it out of the lab-rinth."

Peter groaned at the pun but smiled in relief at the lack of disappointment. Stepping inside the penthouse, he waved at Shuri. She grinned and scooted over to make room for Peter to sit beside her. T'challa sighed as he did the same.

"Peter! I think I worked out the last of the kinks in our plans!"

"I just replenished all of my chemicals, so we are set to try this however many times it takes."

Mr. Stark cleared his throat to interrupt. "So long as you don't blow up the lab, we're good."

The two teens exchanged a sheepish look. The memories of their last experiment rose unbidden to their minds. It had taken two months – even with Peter's super strength and Shuri's super ingenuity – to scrub the floor and everything in the lab free of the stains they had inflicted. Peter rubbed his upper arm at the memory. Shuri sighed and put her hand on his. They grinned at the chuckles that rippled around the room, trying to hide their embarrassment. Luckily for them, Uncle Steve saved them.

"Dinner's ready."

Bucky huffed under his breath. "Finally."

"Hey, I didn't see you helping me, Buchanan."

"I did," Bucky protested. "I helped you to laugh at yourself."

"Alright, alright you two," Mr. Stark interrupted. "You said dinner was ready."

"Right this way."

Peter and Shuri led the way to the table. They grabbed the food, filling their plates to heaping before everyone else even entered the room. A quiet word from Mr. Stark and a sharp look from T'challa were enough to make the two kids sit and place their hands in their laps. The rest of the Avengers were polite enough to pretend not to notice, though many of them exchanged amused looks. Who knew Tony would turn out to be such a dad?

Aside from that, dinner passed without incident. Peter and Shuri sat together at one end of the table, ignoring all the adults with the occasional exception of Mr. Stark and Bruce. Steve, Bucky, and Sam sat at the other end of the table bickering good-naturedly. Clint, Nat, and Laura were trying to convince the mini archers to eat instead of starting a food fight. Laughter reigned supreme at the family table, something that carried on into the evening chats around the coffee table.

Peter, Shuri, Nat, and the archer kids played a game of Risk as the others took bets on who would win. Wanda refused to bet seriously because of her mental abilities, but put a dollar behind each of Clint's kids as encouragement.

"All money betted against the winner goes to the winner," Nat warned.

Shuri laughed. "Sounds like a plan. You ready to lose, spiders?"

Nat smirked. "In your dreams."

Banter flowed as easily around the living room as the coffee. The kids were soon annihilated and clung to their Aunt Nat, cheering her on. The rest of the room, minus T'challa and Mr. Stark, were also rooting for Nat. T'challa groaned as Nat took out the last of Shuri's troops. Mr. Stark grimaced as Peter was pushed further and further back until he occupied only Australia. Indonesia traded hands every round for seven rounds until Peter burst from his confinement. Within two turns he had conquered Asia. Three gained him footholds in Africa, Europe, and North America. Ten turns later, the spiderboy had Nat trapped in Argentina.

"Surrender, Aunt Nat?"

"Never."

Peter shrugged and rolled the dice. Nat narrowed her eyes and did the same. White five. White three. Red four. Red four. Red one. Removing one of her last five men, Nat rolled again. Two ones. With two men left, Nat rolled a six and a two while Peter rolled a five and a three. Nat glared at her last man, silently daring him to fall. The room was silent as Peter made his last call.

"Brazil to Argentina, again."

White five.

Red six.

The room erupted into chaos. Mr. Stark, as the only person who backed Peter, cheered and rubbed it in everyone's faces. T'challa, having had time to reconcile with Shuri's loss, gave Peter the twenty he had bet with a smile. The rest of the team was in shock. Nat had been unbeatable in Risk. She was the expert strategist. How had she lost to the spiderkid?

"Wanna play chess next time, Aunt Nat?"

Nat chuckled. "Sure. Maybe I can knock your ego down a rung or two." She shook his hand. "Good game, Pete."

Slowly, while still grumbling, those who had lost their bets handed over their money to Peter. Steve clapped a hand on the kid's back.

"I'm impressed. Next time I may have to bet on you."

"True," said Clint, "but next time it will have to be. It's time to get my kidlets to bed."

Goodnights were said all around as the Avengers each went to their own floors. Soon everyone was bedded down for the night, sleep following close behind. Except for Peter. He dozed restlessly, planning the lab activities when he was awake and dreaming of all the ways it could go wrong when he fell into a fitful slumber.

Regardless of how well or how much he had slept, when the sun rose, Peter was up. He threw on a ratty t-shirt with a science pun on it and stumbled down to the labs. After telling FRIDAY to start the three coffee pots brewing, he double-checked his area. Everything had to be perfect. Shuri hadn't been to the labs in Avengers Tower in ages, and her labs in Wakanda were immeasurably better. Peter knew deep down that he couldn't hope to compete with Shuri's labs, but he was determined to do his best to make it as close as possible.

"Kid, what on earth are you doing down here at a quarter to six?"

Peter looked up from his deep cleaning of the soot-stained floors to see Mr. Stark standing in the doorway, rumpled hair, bleary-eyed, and wearing Mickey Mouse pants and a Spiderman shirt. Flushed with embarrassment – NOT at the shirt Mr. Stark was wearing – Peter looked down again.

"Cleaning," he mumbled.

"Sorry, Underoos, but you gotta speak up. I got morning ears."

Peter looked back at his mentor's face. "Do you know how sophisticated Shuri's labs are? Do you know how much beyond ours they are?"

"Kid-"

"Do you know all the things she designs, makes, and tests in her labs? Do you know how many people she's helped?"

"Underoos-"

"Do you know how often she is in her labs? How much they are used?"

"Pete-"

"And her labs are always spotless. Always! Immaculate!"

"Peter!"

The teen's jaw snapped shut, his eyes widening. His muscles tensed as he shrank under Mr. Stark's gaze. The man sighed and crouched down, arms resting on his knees.

"Pete, listen to me." Mr. Stark gently moved a hand slightly closer to the boy. "You don't have to overanalyze this. You're getting all worked up about something that I guarantee is not as big a deal as you think it is."

Peter trembled a little, his mouth opening and closing without anything coming out. Mr. Stark gingerly placed his hand on top of Peter's, removing the scrubbing brush from the teen's grip.

"Shuri has been down here before, remember? She made a bigger mess than you, me, and Bruce combined."

Peter chuckled slightly, a tear streaking down his cheek. Mr. Stark sat on the floor beside the kid and wrapped and arm around him.

"Do you remember when she was trying to make a vibranium-platinum alloy and melted the Mark LXXIV?"

Peter nodded. "I just wanted everything to be perfect." He leaned into Mr. Stark's shoulder. "She came here voluntarily over her birthday, and even though I know she doesn't want to make a big deal about it, I wanted something to be special."

Tony froze. Shuri's birthday was happening while they were in the Tower? How had he not known? The girl had done so much for himself and for Peter, there was no way on earth that he was going to let her special day go unnoticed.

"Her birthday?"

"Yeah, it's today. She wanted to spend it in the labs, so I wanted to make the labs special."

Tony rubbed his face with his free hand. He needed to think of something to do for the girl genius. But first, he needed coffee.

"Okay, kiddo. I'm going to pour myself some coffee, then I can help you with the lab purge – and keep you from going overboard."

"Wh-wh-wha-wh-wh-wha-wh-what?" Peter spluttered. "I wasn't going overboard!"

"Says the guy who was scrubbing the permanently stained floors with a toothbrush."

"It wasn't a toothbrush."

Mr. Stark raised his eyebrow. "Might as well have been with the way you were scrubbing with it." He mimed going over an infinitesimally small area until Peter threw the brush at his head.

"Get your coffee and leave me be."

Mr. Stark raised his hands in surrender and walked over to his red coffee pot. Pulling the pot out and taking off the lid, he returned to where Peter was sitting and took a drink.

"So, Pete, where are we going to start?"

"Giving me my coffee pot?"

"No way, Underoos. You get one cup. One."

"Half a pot?"

"Half a cup?"

Peter sighed. "One cup."

Mr. Stark nodded and smirked as Peter poured more creamer into his cup than coffee. The teen chugged for a few seconds until Mr. Stark looked away, then Pete poured another splash of coffee into his cup. Mr. Stark laughed quietly at the sound, but said nothing. The two began to work in a comfortable silence, preparing the labs for the imminent arrival of the princess of Wakanda.

"What on earth is going on down here?"

Peter looked up from where he was polishing the tabletop to see Bruce standing in the doorway in confusion. Rubbing the back of his neck, Peter tried to explain, but only succeeded in stuttering out nonsense. Bruce raised an eyebrow at the tongue-tied kid until Mr. Stark stepped in.

"Shuri's birthday is today. The kid just wanted to have the labs clean for her."

Bruce raised both his eyebrows at Tony. The man practically volunteered to parent every person without a father, and he was going to let the girl off without making a big deal over her birthday? Bruce didn't believe it.

Tony, seeing the doubt behind Bruce's eyes, narrowed his gaze in a warning. "Pete said she didn't want to make a big deal about it."

Aka, Tony couldn't say anything about his plans in front of Peter.

Bruce rolled his eyes. Tony was being overly dramatic, as always. Bruce just shrugged it off and moved on to the coffee.

"Whatever. It's almost eight, and if I remember right, Shuri said that was when she'd be down."

"What!"

Bruce and Mr. Stark watched in amusement as Peter started running around the labs, desperately trying to finish cleaning the room and pick up after himself at the same time.

"Princess Shuri is on her way."

Peter squawked at FRIDAY's warning.

"Ten seconds until her arrival."

"Five."

"Four."

"Three."

"Two."

"One."

The elevator doors dinged and opened as Pete skidded to a halt beside his workbench, casually leaning against it as if he wasn't out of breath. Shuri stepped out of the elevator and looked straight at Peter, smirking at his heaving chest.

"Been doing some exercises, Parker?"

Peter spluttered, trying to offer up some form of an excuse until Mr. Stark stepped in.

"Coffee, Shuri?"

"No thanks. I have enough energy from my ideas. Speaking of…" she walked over to Peter talking non-stop about her plans for integrating her kinetic absorption technology into Peter's webs.

Mr. Stark smiled until he heard exactly what they were talking about. "Won't that be difficult if not impossible? We are talking about his webs, right? That's a strand, not a suit or some such thing."

"Exactly." Shuri grinned. "That's why we're developing a new type of web that will encase the victim before releasing the energy inside of the web cocoon."

Peter was bouncing on the balls of his feet. "It's going to be so cool!"

The two teens turned back to their work as Tony and Bruce exchanged knowing smiles. The energy of a new idea had been known to sweep the two older scientists away from time to time, and it was refreshing to see a new generation as eager to learn, test, and build as they were. Tony just prayed that Pete and Shuri would never have a failure as big as Ultron was for himself and Bruce, but mostly himself.

Another couple of hours went by in a blur of excitement until the teens' new toy was ready for testing. Peter finished programming the chemical formula into his web shooters as Shuri prepared the test dummy.

"Alright, Pete!" Shuri cried, stepping a safe distance away from the target. "Ready, aim, FIRE!"

Peter shot the new web combo at the dummy with a half-jump back.

THWIP

The web fully left the shooter and expanded into a net in midair. The net whistled until it hit the target, wrapping itself around the dense, platinum figure. Glowing purple at impact, the web shuddered as it released the energy it had accumulated into the figure. Shuri stepped forward, gently unwrapping the semi-sticky web to reveal the test dummy.

The dummy was one of the ones that was designed to survive anything but one of Tony's repulsor blasts. After the energy pulse, its head had completely caved in, along with all of its limbs. The torso was crumpled and majorly dented. To say the occupants of the lab were shocked would be an understatement. Particularly since a tour group had entered just as the test was about to begin.

Peter, unaware of the high school field trip group that was staring at him from the doorway, ran over to Shuri. "So, I think we need to make a less lethal combination. That one was definitely a keeper, but I would prefer to not have everyone hit with this end up dead."

Shuri nodded and was about to reply when she saw the open mouths behind Peter. "Hey, Pete? We've got an audience."

"Who? Mrs. Stark? Cap? Nat? Oh, please tell me it's Nat. That would be so awesome. I bet it's Mrs. Stark, though. Probably lunch time by now."

Shuri just nodded her head towards the door. Peter glanced over his shoulder only to do a double take. There in the door way was everyone from his class except for the decathlon team regulars. Which meant-

"What are you doing here, Mr. Parker?"

Peter sighed. Of course his teacher would ask. How had he forgotten that this field trip was today?

"I have an internship here, Mr. Evans. The one Flash constantly doubts? It's real."

"Hey, Pete," Mr. Stark interrupted. "Who are these people?"

"This is my class. Well, those who aren't on the decathlon team. The decathlon team takes a lot of field trips, so they arranged one for everyone else." Peter gestured back and forth between his class and his mentor. "Guys, this is Mr. Stark, in case you couldn't tell. Also, this is Dr. Bruce Banner and Princess Shuri of Wakanda."

Mr. Stark smiled as the other two nodded. "So, I'm sure you're all brimming with questions. We shall answer," he thought for a moment before continuing, "five questions before you must continue with your tour and allow us to continue with our work."

Hands flew in the air, and Mr. Stark nodded at Peter, allowing the teen to take the reins. Peter smiled at Mr. Stark before pointing at someone in the back.

"How often do you come to the tower?"

Peter shrugged. "Depends on the week. Most weekends I'm here, though there are some exceptions. Sometimes I come during the week, but that's a little more limited."

"What do you get to work on?"

"I'm usually helping with upgrading the Avengers' gear, though I have plenty of time to work on my own pet projects as well."

"Do you know the Avengers personally?"

"Sure do. They come down here fairly often to see what progress I've made." Pete pointed at someone in the middle.

"Who's your favorite Avenger?"

"I'd have to say Iron Man." Peter made sure not to turn around, but he knew Mr. Stark would be beaming with pride.

"What were you working on when we came in?"

"Shuri and I are trying to upgrade Spiderman's tech by incorporating Wakandan tech into his gear." Pete's eyes lit up as he began to explain, though Mr. Stark's hand on his shoulder soon reminded him that his class was bored by the technical stuff. "Basically, we're making it so Spiderman's webs can release an energy pulse when wrapped around someone."

Mr. Stark smoothly cut in. "Alright, everyone. That's all for today. Enjoy the rest of your tour, and stay in school."

The tour guide led the chattering class to the elevator as Peter turned back to Shuri.

"As I was saying, this needs to not kill everyone it's used on."

Shuri grinned as the two dove back into their formulas to work uninterrupted for the rest of the day – at least until the group was called up for lunch.


	2. Aunt Tasha

Four years.

Peter Parker had been Spiderman for four years.

Three years.

Peter Parker had been an intern at Stark Industries for three years.

Two years.

Peter Parker had been a part of the Avengers family for two years.

One year.

Peter Parker had been dating MJ for one year.

Zero.

Peter Parker had graduated high school and everything took a major downhill turn from there. Despite his spidey senses, Peter did not see anything coming.

Life was good. Spiderman was popular, and NO ONE knew his true identity. The internship had progressed to a full job offer. The Avengers accepted Peter as their own, even going as far as to insist on being called Uncle or Aunt…or Dad (Tony). MJ was supportive of Peter, even when she didn't understand what was going on. And, something Aunt May and Da-Ton-Da-To-whatever were extremely proud of, MIT had accepted Peter and offered nearly a full ride scholarship.

No, Peter did not lose his MIT acceptance.

No, Peter did not lose his girlfriend.

No, Peter did not lose Aunt May.

No, Peter did not stop working at Stark Industries.

No, Peter did not stop being Spiderman.

No, Peter did not stop being a part of the Avenger's family.

It was something much, much worse than that.

Nick Fury wanted Spiderman brought in, and the Avengers had to do it. The same Avengers who teased Peter for crying at Bambi, despite the fact that all their faces were tear-stained as well. The same Avengers who made blueberry pancakes and strawberry waffles whenever Peter was over for breakfast – and sometimes for dinner. The same Avengers who comforted Peter whenever he had a panic attack, even when he couldn't explain to them how he had a building dropped on him. The same Avengers that he called Uncle and Aunt.

Specifically Aunt Tasha.

Natasha Romanov, otherwise known as the Black Widow, was a fearsome woman, even to those who called her family. No one crossed Nat. Not even Tony. Lucky for the Avengers, Nat very rarely put them in a position where they had to decide. She had her opinions, but she almost never put her foot down with her family. Except for one thing.

"Peter, you are only to address me as Aunt Tasha. Nothing else. Not Black Widow. Not Nat. Not Ms. Natasha Romanov ma'am. Aunt Tasha only. Got it?"

Peter had nodded mutely at that, feeling a bit overwhelmed when the rest of the team had joined in, though not with Aunt Tasha's fervor. Since then he had come to feel great pride and pleasure in being allowed – required even – to address her as Aunt Tasha. Until now.

It was a patrol night. One of Peter's last before he went off to college. He swung through Queens, admiring each grungy building and memorizing each dingy alley. He finally came to rest on the tallest building in the area, smiling behind the mask at his home, when he heard a noise behind him and felt a hand against his head.

"Stand up carefully, kid," Iron Man said gently.

Peter cursed. "Son of a motherless goat!"

Steve chuckled at the inventive phrase and made a note to find somewhere to use it.

"We don't want anyone to get hurt."

Peter snorted. "Should've thought of that before sneaking up on me, Tin Can."

Tony sighed.

"Wait." Clint's eyes narrowed. "We snuck up on you? With drawn weapons?"

"Fudgesicles. You didn't hear that."

Peter stood and turned to face the team – and it was the entire team. Why were they always able to sneak up on him?

"Well, it's been great meeting you guys." Peter nodded at a couple of the team. "Birdbrain. Birdbrain Junior. Tic-Tac. Pointbreak."

"Wait, you have nicknames for us?" Clint's aim wavered for the first time.

Aunt Tasha smiled grimly. "Not only that. They're OUR nicknames for each other."

Peter swallowed hard. "Well, as I said, nice meeting you guys. Unfortunately, I have to be up bright and early in the morning, so I ought to be going now."

With that, he jumped off the building and swung away. As he expected, the Avengers gave chase, but after a merry game of follow the leader, Peter managed to lose them. Or so he thought until he dropped into an alley to see Aunt Tasha waiting for him.

"Hold up, Spidey," she said, her pose kept a careful neutral.

"Well, hello there. Surprise meeting you again so soon. What can I do for you?"

"No nicknames?"

"I don't see why I would need them."

"Why not?"

"Well, we clearly know who the other is. And I can tell you're not in the mood for the banter I gave to the others."

Aunt Tasha smirked. "Well, if we know who the other is, then you won't mind telling me who I am."

Peter felt his heart rate increase, but he forced himself to appear calm. "Or perhaps you are wanting banter. Otherwise why would you be so narcissistic as to ask who you are? You're not Iron Man."

Silence fell for a couple of beats.

"He's right behind me, isn't he?"

"Can't you tell for yourself? Spidey senses and all?"

Peter grumbled. "Not with him."

He turned around to see empty air. Scoffing, he turned back to Aunt Tasha only to see an empty alley.

"Not cool, Aunt Tasha," he muttered as quietly as he could.

"I knew it." Aunt Tasha's voice whispered in his ear.

"SON OF A BISCUIT EATER!"

Peter's cry echoed through the streets of Queens, ringing off of buildings. The Avengers immediately circled around and came crashing into the alley only to see Peter Parker in the Spiderman suit – minus the mask – sitting glumly beside a smirking Natasha Romanov.

"Peter?"

"Pete?"

"What the-"

"Surprise?"


End file.
